Players who have only ever played The Sims 4 might not quite understand just how far the game has come since its early days of using Comic Sans as an acceptable font.
Sure, you might have heard the music or seen the videos of the burglar that would show up pretty much every time your Sims moved into a new house, but having lived through the era of a useless genie and awful colour clashes are something else.
If you have been playing since the OG days of The Sims franchise, your younger self might not realise just how clever and barbed the original game actually was.
Clever, but also utterly terrifying. When you go back to the game as an adult, you realise that perhaps younger you should not have been playing the game all that much – even if it was pivotal in teaching your about the birds and the bees.
And then there are some of the objects. While there are many iconic objects from The Sims that we miss and wish would return, there are also some generally awful things that are best left behind in awful pixelated resolutions.
The original game had a real weird thing about trophies. To their credit, in some cases, the game was actually ahead of its time. There are now just two northern white rhinos remaining in the world – something that The Sims was already warning about over 20 years ago.
Not that we’re all ‘video games encourage trophy hunting’, but you know, on account of the whole some species being close to extinction thing, it probably won’t go down all that well.
There were loads of other trophies, too. Some were in the form of (faux) rugs, While we love kitsch as much as the next 90s kids, these are probably best left on their CD-ROMS.
Terrifying clown statue
If Pennywise didn’t give your younger self nightmares, this utterly horrifying clown thing almost certainly did and no amount of crafty copywriting is going to change our minds.
Some Simmers might disagree over whether or not these furniture objects deserve a comeback. It’s not that we are completely against their existence in terms of a possible return, it’s just that… well…just look…. and then decide for yourself.
There are loads more where these came from… we’ll get around to adding them all… one day…soon.
Antoinette is a recovering journalist, having written for Sports Illustrated, The Guardian, Daily Maverick and others. She has won multiple SAB Journalist of the Year awards, across a variety of categories. She thinks it’s strange writing about herself in the third person, unless she’s playing as herself in The Sims…which she’s been doing for over 20 years.